The following excerpts were taken from a SAFEHOME brochure in Kansas City, MO.

Predictors Of Domestic Violence

The following signs often occur before actual abuse and may serve as clues to potential abuse:

1. Did they grow up in a violent family? People who grow up in families where they have been abused as children, or where one parent beats the other, have grown up learning that violence is normal behavior.
   
   
2. Do they tend to use force or violence to "solve" their problems? A young person who has a criminal record for violence, who gets into fights, or who likes to act tough is likely to act the same way with their spouse and children. Do they have a quick temper? Do they over-react to little problems and frustration? Are they cruel to animals? Do they punch walls or throw things when they are upset? Any of these behaviors may be a sign of a person who will work out bad feelings with violence.
   
   
3. Do they abuse alcohol or other drugs? There is a strong link between violence and problems with drugs and alcohol. Be alert to their possible drinking/drug problems, particularly if they refuse to admit that they have a problem, or refuse to get help. Do not think that you can change them.
   
   
4. Do they have strong traditional ideas about what a man should be and what a woman should be?
   
   
5. Are they jealous of your other relationships, not just with other men that you may know but also with your women friends and your family? Do they keep tabs on you? Do they want to know where you are at all times? Do they want you with them all of the time?
   
   
6. Do they have access to guns, knives, or other lethal instruments? Do they talk of using them against people, or threaten to use them to get even?
   
   
7. Do they expect you to follow their orders or advice? Do they become angry if you do not fulfill their wishes or if you cannot anticipate what they want?
   
   
8. Do they go through extreme highs and lows, almost as though they are two different people? Are they extremely kind one time, and extremely cruel at another time?
   
   
9. When they get angry, do you fear them? Do you find that not making them angry has become a major part of your life? Do you do what they want you to do, rather than what you want to do?
   
   
10. Do they treat you roughly? Do they physically force you to do what you do not want to do?